Bicycle... Polo!

A couple days ago, I met an old friend of mine, Sarah.  I hadn't seen her in 12 years, but it turns out she lives just five blocks away from me!  We caught up over coffee, and in the course of the day, she invited me to join her for bicycle polo, which apparently happens every Thurday night in the Oakland DMV parking lot starting around 9pm.

I invited Mike, too, just so there'd be two people there I knew,  and he grudgingly accompanied me.  Not because he wasn't into the polo, but because he had a long day and was feeling tired. But in the end, his well-developed sense of adventure carried the day, and he biked over to my place.

From there, we went to Lanesplitter Oakland to hopefully meet up with Sarah and the rest of the gang.

Except Sarah wasn't there yet! She was still at work.  D'oh!  But she suggested we go inside and find the guys with polo mallets, which we did.  They're a nice group of fellows, and we were just catching them at the tail end of dinner.

I hadn't eaten yet, so I borrowed from the Bank of Mike and bought some garlic breadsticks.  Mmmm mmmm.  Wish I'd had some real food, though!

With food and drink consumed, we all got on the bikes, about 30 bikes in all, and rode the dark streets over to the DMV nearby. 

(It's great fun riding in a big group of bikes; it feels very friendly and safe.  Maybe an old sensation of safety in numbers, wildebeest-style.  Who knows.  But it makes me look forward even more to Critical Mass at the end of this month!)

Although there are official rules for bike polo, this game was a little more fast-and-loose, and probably because of that, more fun than the official game looks.

Mallets were home-made using pieces of old crutches (light and strong.)  The heads of the mallets were built from end-capped pieces of 5 cm PVC piping.  The ball was an incredibly non-regulation Wiffleball.  The field was a parking lot, complete with interloping lightposts and parking blocks.

The punkish crowd gathered around, leaned their scores of bikes everywhere and against everything, and drank what I can only presume were energy drinks from small paper bags.  A few cyclists circled around the field.  It was a scene straight out of Rumble in the Bronx.  Except a little more friendly.

The goals (lopped-off tops of traffic cones set 2-3 m apart) were set up at far ends of the parking lot, mallets pulled out of bags, and the game was set to commence!

Teams are organized from the first six people to throw a mallet in the center of the field.  These six mallets are shuffled and split into two groups to determine teams.

The ball is then placed in the center of the field, and the players gather behind their goals, waiting for the start order of, "Ready, Steady, GO!"

Then the "joust" begins, where all parties charge the ball and is probably the one part of the game where all cyclists are moving at their highest speeds.  Once the ball is in play, the bikes slow considerably as they jockey for position and try to control the ball.

First team to three points wins.

Some rules:

• Don't be a jerk.  It's supposed to be a non-serious fun game.
• You can dribble with the flat of your mallet or with your bicycle, but shots-on-goal need to be with the point of the mallet.
• If you touch the ground with your foot, you have to "tag up" on a predecided item (such as a lamppost, wall, or tree) before you can continue to play.
• You can throw a mallet to try to intercept a shot, but it is very bad form if your mallet should hit another player's bike.
• You should make every effort to not cause any other cyclists to crash.
• You cannot pass the ball backward through your opponents goal and then immediately shoot it forward to score the goal; a reasonable time must elapse before you do this.

I watched one game, then participated in the next.  It was HARD!  I was terrible with the mallet, only coming in contact with the ball twice, and never getting it to do what I wanted.  Our team lost 0-3.  Wowzers.

The night wore on, six profane people playing at a time, while the rest spectated from the sidelines or chatted with one another.  It was a very social event.

Before I left, Sarah convinced me to have one more go at it, which turned out to be really good.  I had vastly improved since the first fiasco, making me actually "ok" at the game.

I lost the opening joust, but no matter.  Our team quickly turned around and scored two back-to-back goals.  At the end, our opponents moved the ball downfield, but got tangled up in our defense.  I saw my teammate control the ball, so I moved up front downfield away from the pack.  He passed way forward (that would have definitely been a two-line pass in hockey), and I picked it up and actually successfully dribbled it toward the goal!  Amazing!  2 meters away, I straightened my mallet and took my shot, which barely made it through after hitting the post!  The winning point!

Balancing well on your bike is quite important in the game, even if you're near or at a dead standstill.  Many players are very good at this and some are able to balance still on their bikes indefinitely (a move known as a "track stand", which is easier to do on a type of bike called a "fixie".)

It's also important to know how to position your bike correctly relative to the ball, since the mallet is only easily handled on one side of the bike.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that lots of this game would really improve ones cycling skills.  We'll see!